Sunday, August 7, 2016

Old Jokes

I think I've mentioned before that I love reading old newspaper accounts, etc., for the way they phrased things. This paragraph was on a form for Militia Attestation in England in the 1890s,

"He can see the required distance with either eye, his heart and lungs are healthy, he has the free use of his joints and limbs, and he declares that he is not subject to fits of any description."

From the Shepton Mallet Journal, Friday, June 27, 1902:


     A Musselburgh fishwife at Portobello Station saved the life of a railway man in a most plucky manner.The man just jumped on the line just as the London express from Edinburgh swept into the station. He seemed paralysed with fear for the moment, and clung to the platform's edge. The fishwife, a big, buxom woman of her class, rushed forward and pulled the man by the collar on to the platform. The engine struck his feet as it passed.


"What caused the row between Belle and Jack?"
"He sent her a cheque good for one hundred kisses and she got Tom to cash it!"

"Poor man," said the sympathetic lady visitor, "I expect you'll be glad when your time is up, won't you?" "No, ma'am, not partickerly," replied the prisoner; "I'm here for life."

"As I understand it, an X-ray will go right through a man's head. There is nothing else quite so penetrating, is there?" "Oh, I don't know. Did you ever hear my daughter sing?"

Have a great week! Ta ta for now,

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